He said "Captain", I said "Wot?".....

So what did we get up to then ? Well I guess I'll give you a quick run-down of the week.....

Friday May 15th:

Everybody made their way to Newcastle-Upon-Tyne....Tariq had gone up the previous night to stay with one of his '17 mates called Paul' who lives in Chester-le-Street....I picked Steph up at Heathrow - her flight from Chicago got in over an hour late so we had a lot of time to make up - Not easy in an elderly Peugeot 309 weighed down with "big-ass bags"....Alan dropped Annie-Dog off with the Clan Ridge in Brum and picked Delia up off the train at the NEC from London....Christine was lucky enough to be stuck at work on Friday morning doing work for Partners '98 - the fast East Coast line was her chosen poison - "We're getting there"....Newcastle at 6.00pm - time to chill and hit the Toon by 7.00pm....Pizza Express - worst service in the world - "I believe you wanted to speak to the manager"....The Baltic - changed its name? What's all that about? - Sam, Locky, Ali, Geoff, Ritchie - "Get us a ticket for next Monday mate?"....The Fog & Firkin - Bar Kerplunk! Marvellous! Bar Jenga even better!....Beers and The Quay Club - Brimful of Asha, The Way It Is, Three Lions, Eat my Goal - "did you know that was written by a Sunderland fan?"....Eat pies, Sleep a lot, Drink Tango!

Saturday May 16th:

Off to a slow start - the crew was tired!....Breakfast in Fenwicks - terrifying shop, no way out!....The cars set off for Bamburgh....Me, Steph and Tariq stop in "Historic" Morpeth for the weeks provisions - Steph frustrated - no egg substitute, no bread substitute, no milk substitute, no meat substitute - "Where is this place ? BFE ?"....Get to Bamburgh, get the keys and get to Armstrong House....NICE!....pile down to the Victoria Hotel pub for the FA Cup final....crammed with Mags...."Piss off you French bastard"....tears before bedtime but not from me....Tricky (Heartbreak Ellis) and (Quiet) John arrive for the evening - Richard's an Arsenal fan - his grin is so wide the top of his head is in danger of falling off....top nosh and beers....sleep!

Sunday May 17th:

Did we really run to Seahouses and back before breakfast?? Yikes!....Very "fretty" as we all walk to Seahouses....Proper fish n chips....crazy golf....the sun comes out....I become a red head - Ouch....Quality footy on the beach - "how did the USA ever beat us??"....Tariq becomes "Pizza delivery man" and very nice too (the pizzas - not Tariq!) - lets dance - ouch my ankle! - frozen peas down me sock....Midnight strikes, I'm thirty and we're all drunk,....sparkly bits in my hair, on my lap, on every inch of the house....rest of the week picking bits up!

Monday May 18th:

Phone rings - ouch my head hurts....I'm thirty and still my dad calls up and sings "Happy Birthday" - Sweetie! - hope he's still soing it when I'm 50!....Pancakes and syrup - Result!....Lindisfarne (Holy Island) - beautiful but still "fretty" - manage not to get stranded by the tides....back for a doze - I always enjoy a "siesta" on me hols....Curtain pulled across....Witches coven....secret mutterings behind the screen....entry verboten...."Put the music on Alan" - not Zeppelin ? I HATE Zeppelin! - duped gadzoooks! My Life Story - what a relief....the curtain goes back....tiaras and feather boas! Classic....and beautiful food....and far too much to drink...."I'm afraid I was very very very drunk"

Tuesday May 19th:

Chris, Alan, Tariq, and Delia have breakfast and head for Newcastle....Me and Steph head for Berwick-upon-Tweed...."Used to be at war with Russia" - fascinating!....Back to BFE Morpeth to meet the folks and exchange keys for books....Paddington books and footy programmes....not quite what I had in mind! Ho-hum....Off we go to Ambleside....Crompton House hotel....small room but shouldn't be there too often.

Wednesday/Thursday/Friday:

Todd Cragg - Deer....nothing but the sound of birdsong....gorgeous!....Pizza restaurant again - convo not as scandalous this time!....Nice wine....Stock Ghyll waterfall....Blencathra....its a big one and boy is Sharp Edge pretty scary!....we did it!....Kirkstone Galleries and my coat rack....Nice restaurant - mmmm....Grasmere - Sour milk ghyll and Easedale Tarn....The M6 nightmare....Back in time for My Life Story at The Garage - Just....

Marvellous end to a marvellous week......"God bless the 'ole f@#kin lot of 'em!"